Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Just for you...

To everyone out there, I am sure that each and everyone of you have certain someone that you adore or someone you love in secret. I understand how hard it is sometime to voice out our thought and let it be heard by that someone. We will be just someone who is watching them from the backstage. Sometime the sad case is that, that person did not even notice us.

To me, this special person of mine...is very far from me, I could not see what she is doing right now..however...I owes miss her..and it seems that whenever i think of how perfect is she...it owes motive me for the day. I just wish that, I have been more brave...then...I will be able to let her know...well this post will be dedicated to her....this just the reflection of how i feel all this while...
I begin my day by praying for your well being..
wishing that you will be happy and healthy always..
just before you totally forget me..
just before you totally left me...
I never wish for you to miss me in this this petty situation i am in now..
I only wanted whenever or wherever you saw me, in your heart you will always say that...
this is the guy that have a crush on me...
this is the guy that love me...
Maybe you never know how much I admire you
Maybe you never know how much I respect you
Because by missing you everyday..
I am able to live my life to the fullest..
With that..
I will be missing you...
I will be admiring you....
I know that it is not today..
I am sure the day will come...
soon...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
xxx

Listen to me!

Can you just listen to me just this one...
Cause i will say this once...
You always think that you owes right and I am wrong
I really do not know what you always wanted...
Love is not about words and lusts...
I am sure all this while you never understand...
Can you listen to me...I am talking....not asking...
It ends here...

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

mumble 0 mumble

The odd has finally reveal itself to me! Since young i owes thought that working and earning money was cool since if i have money i can buy anything but the truth owes seems to be the other way. At first thought...when i was still in secondary...i can not wait for the time for me to go to the university. I always want to grow up...come to think about it...that is what kids think about when they were young and i am one of them...

Now that I am working and managing a company...i began to see and reflect back the time when I used to go wild and crazy with my friends. There are many things that i have to sacrifice....which in a way make me realize being young is just once in a lifetime.....

When i was still studying, most of the time i spent in high school was day dreaming...and when high school over...university comes to life.....and hell begin. Well I admit that i used to be wild...i can party with my friend 24/7 and that time...I really have no worries in life...that is the way I used to escape from things that I dont like. Now that it is over....

I guess that the working environment has makes me more mature....it is totally different from how i used to be when i was still studying at Swinburne or Lodge.... With most of my days are either spent in the office or visit site (oil palm estate), the funny thing is that I stop smoking and drinking for almost 5 months already....(i didnt say i quit oh!!) however this is a big improvement for me......lets hope that this will last...

Another thing that i found out was that working environment teaches me to break the rule...and now i understand what it meant by rules are meant to be broken...well basically never follow 100% what the book says...like we used to do when we are still in university...lol...in conclusion...go easy with life...go with the flow....

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
e

Monday, March 23, 2009

My imperfect story

If only you are still there standing beside me
I always want to let you know how much i care for you
If i could turn back the time
I will not take my attention away from you even for one second
All my life you are the one that could reach deep into my heart
All my life you are the one that could be inside the room in my heart

the beautiful time with you makes me so captivated
Actually, I hope that I can have you forever
My heart crush accompanying my sadness when losing you
Really I cant redeem the pain in my heart to let go of you
wish i could convince myself that the love is not over
but fate has written the end of our destiny

I do not have the big heart to understand your heart
I do not have the understanding to realize that you are not mine

this story that are not perfect will not be remember
I suppose I am able to let go this fragments of memories
I suppose I am able to walk through every second of my life without looking back

listen to me...
I will always....always....remember
I am sorry for being imperfect
It is over...

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Square one!

2009 is here and my blog is still not even updated! sigh....i guess this blog is gonna disappear one day...lol lets hope that it is not happening. Alrite..since i am back(for the moment)...lets cont with the post..

Hmm.....to be exact, it was a few days ago while i am at Kuching accompanying my grandma for hes medical check-up. The thoughts bubbled up in my mind while i was sitting in the hotel executive lounge on the 17th floor thinking about my company. At that point of time i was really stress-out with coping up with the management system in the company. It was really hectic since this company of mine is transforming from mamak stalls management to adopting a more professional management system that recognise by international corporative management standards. The purpose of this transformation was due to the strict credit term (refinancing of loans and leasing) from the bank, with the dec 2008 American bank crisis it seems that all the banks in the world are getting its effects now. Well that is a portion of the problem that i am scooping up right now and there are more internal problem to be fixed as I am running the company in the future.

Anyways...it came up to me the question of what is the use of getting a degree? Since i am a semester away from graduation, I tried to be more productive by helping the family business and up to this point i see that the pursue of degree is just a trend, a perspectives in the society, one rule in the society that we need to follow. However, have you ever really think about those who are successful are those who are so called risk taker and mostly they are the one that working behind the scene manipulating the play earning the big catch and also suprisingly majority are school drop-out. What i am trying to say here is a degree does not teaches you to be a risk taker but to be a more productive person and most of the degree programs offered by the university just prepares you to be more intellectual and getting you ready for job interview, whether or not you nail the interview is up to your own confident and charisma ...so...should i finish my studies??

Well i guess i should finish my studies since i made a promise with my friends that i will be back to finish up what i started.

From what i have learn so far from my business degree courses, i felt very cheated as i find it that most of the studies material can be self learned at home and from working experiences...the books are available at any book store. Just imagine how much does the university charges for their tuisyen fee??? and upon graduation we just get a certificate stating that we graduate and earn the degree..go for the convocation ceremony and haha there we go posing for the picture.....by the end of the day when we go to work...we are back to square one...learning and doing it from the basic again...

Funny aint it?? so why need to study leh? hmm...